I've been going to the gym for over a year, which is pretty anti-me. My life is becoming a list of activities I've incorporated into my routine because a) I feel like I'm just supposed to and b) "Nu-uh, I can totally do it! Shut up!!!". Anyway. The gym. I mean, WTF? Not only did I join a gym, I joined the myspace of gyms, 24Hour Fitness (I got a deal through work ok? Shut up!!!). The most articulate way I can think of describing it, is that it's Rob Thomas-y.

So it definitely has downfalls and predictably its fair share of douchebags. Chatty "cardio buddy" women, grunters, a lot of exposed terrible tattoos, and a small handful of people who work out in jeans. Pretty much everyone else is either awkwardly obese or 'roid heads. But really cute old people use the pool. And catching a male high school friend tanning is SO much more fun than you'd think.

The pleasantly surprising aspect is I've managed to keep almost entirely to myself. Besides one man's short-lived attempt to befriend me (No medicine ball will ever be "our" medicine ball, Eli) I remain unscathed when it comes to unwanted gym conversations. There's probably a few contributing factors we're dealing with here, from my 8 year old tennis shoes to my general lack of likeableness. But. I believe it's in large part due to my conscious decision to exclusively wear a BYU sweatshirt I got from a friend in a gift exchange 6 years ago*. I've found this to be effective and more subtle than wearing a tee that says "I don't put out" or a sandwich board reading "Hermaphrodite + Bacterial Vaginosis = Me". Of course, this caused a near backfire and I once got the "I went to BYU too!", forcing me to immediately explain the situation while using the word fuck as much as possible, just to be safe.

gym promo

*Alright, fine. You know what? I actually got a Western Washington University Sweatshirt in the gift exchange. Then later, I borrowed the BYU one from a friend and never returned it. Now I have 2 gift exchange sweatshirts and she has none. No wonder nobody talks to me.