Why are you acting so messed up towards me?
Or, I'm not even good enough for Arby's.
This hurts so bad. I know we've kind of grown apart over the last few years. I'm willing to take some of the blame there. I should have listened to you more instead of my arteries. But...this? Really? It's just so mean. I can't bear the thought of your adorable little hat. What did I do? Why do I not deserve a beef 'n cheddar coupon right to my inbox? We've been through so much together. So many laughs, so much horsey sauce. So smitten was I with your comely curly fries and luring milkshakes. It's not right. YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME. I should have known things were going sour when you introduced your hoity-toity market fresh line. But I still defended you! I never thought it would come to this. You ripped apart my heart and it's bleeding Arby's Sauce.
You know what? I cheated on you with Wendy's for years. I dipped my cold, soggy fries in my frosty and I liked it.
P.S. I'd get tested if I were you.
