Joy of joys, happy 'the date is 90210' day! What a lovely reason to get totally preoccupied reliving my past TV glories. Heartbreak. Like most forays in to youtube, watching simple clips quickly transcends to watching Sophie B. Hawkins' Damn I Wish I was Your Lover and fan tribute videos (omg please watch this). It could take me days to get through all these.

Sorry the bottom right image is blurry, but I had to include the only image on the whole wide world wide web of Donna's baseball dress because I think of it at least once a week.

The internet is so strong and steadfast when you need a pick me up. Every time it's rainy and stormy (today) there's a corgi doing a belly flop to cheer you right up. But some days you really need the big guns…some days you accidentally see a dead person (yesterday) and really just can't shake it. Guys, that's when the internet reminds us about the best 49 seconds of TV. Thank you, Mr. Gervais.

Thanks for the link, Colin. If anyone needs me the rest of the afternoon, you can find me knee deep in highlight videos.

While recently discussing the age old "what will you do once you're independently wealthy after creating bumper nuts for bikes" question, I realized I really had no grand scheme (outside of living in Malibu and building an exact replica of the Beetlejuice house post-remodel). For shame! How was I so unprepared for my unavoidable prosperity? Sure, I have a bucket list that includes owning a soft serve machine, having a sexual encounter inside the perimeter of Dollywood (sorry), and having an army of costumed corgis - but those are just single ideas…what's my real purpose supposed to be?

Luckily, friends were quick to point out the obvious. I'm to be a baby animal birth witness. While my specialty will of course be pygmy hippos, I will work my hardest to witness the live births of all god's creatures (only the cute ones). I will quickly rise in the ranks of the Animal Kingdom's high society and be on every zoo, aquarium, reserve, ranch, and farm's radar. I will have a dedicated line and a batmanesque light signal in the sky (but it's tiny paws) to alert me at the first signs of adorable labor. Notification must be instant so the readied private jet can be cleared and my pre packed travel furryfriendbirthbag can be grabbed.

No power player is complete without a sidekick, of course. Which is why I'll have a baby Koala bear with me at all times, probably named Buzz or Lando or John Marston. While he'll mostly just want to hug me, I'll also respect the natural Koala way and have a little Bonzai tree (cuter then whatever they actually live in) carried around as my shadow in which for him to perch. I already have a lead on my future Bonzai Carrier, as it's an enviable employment position.

So that's pretty much the long and short of my future life…traveling the world photographing and hugging the cutest of the cute (seriously you guys, ugly need not apply). Like a wildlife midwife or doula, minus the stupid pretension and actual work. Jealoussss?

This dream is brought to you by ZooBorns