Quite possibly one of the best and most exciting emails I've ever received:

I LOVE YOU, CESAR!! I love your silly roller blades, your lovely attitude, and your ability to improve people's lives every day. I love that you can't pronounce 'whisperer', thus referring to yourself as 'the dog whisper'. I love that your 100th episode special almost made me cry, and I love your pack. I love your button downs and chinos. Keep up the good work you lil pack leader!

I know that your twitter account is probably run by a 20 year old intern, but that cannot and will not stop me from picturing you in your office, dictating your message to me while Junior typed it. And of course he was wearing glasses.

Dear Kaitlin Olson,

You're so great. Honestly, you're so, so great. You're hilarious! Your timing is genius, paired with a wonderful sense of comedic physicality. The character of Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds could not be better suited to you and you fast became one of my favorite jocular characters in the history of television. Your use of self deprecating humor and naiveté is a lovely compliment to the other outrageous characters and your never ending string of "Goddamnit you guys!" exclamations have warmed my heart. I was immediately prepared to offer you my BFFship, based soley on your boyish long sleeved shirts under tees, selectively curling ironed pieces of hair, and this.

And then, I found out you were a ducks fan.

WHAT?! Fuck. Are you SERIOUS? You broke my heart and crapped all over it. The only thing worse than a degree in Theatre Arts is a Theatre Arts degree from University of Piece of Shit Oregon! I take all of my admiration and respect back, forever and ever. Seriously. You were a rising star in a land of too few successful funny women, you had such potential. And you throw it all away for the shitty shitty shmucky ducks?! And these atrocious uniforms?? What...why would you.....how is it...I don't...WTF?

What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Oregon campus? A visitor. Go disappear in a cave, suck hole. Make sure you take this bitch with you. Your mascot is a a duck. A goddamned Disney character! Nicknamed "Webfoots" and "Puddles"!! How is that even supposed to come close to this regal, awe-inspiring creature?

Prefontaine is dead!! GET OVER IT! Oregon? More like Boregon. More like Whoregon! In 1932 the Oregon football team was nicnamed the "ducks" by the student newspaper because that's what the players had to do in order to avoid the horrible looking cheerleaders. No wonder Mac and Dennis and Charlie give you shit day in and day out.

Thanks for nothing,

Sarah

I am thankful for: having a wall between my TV and bed, orbit sweet mint gum, Sea of Heartbreak by Rosanne Cash featuring Bruce Springsteen, Malibu, diet wild cherry pepsi, Arby's $5.01 french dip combo deal ("worth every penny"), every day that it doesn't rain, kitten mittens, Tatsu, petfinder.com, that I saw both Kenny Rogers and Bob Dylan this year before they die, honeycrisp apples, Roseanne reruns, the formal wear option for my xbox live avatar, the USC upset, thai tom, Dayman, having an app for that, having 12,424,920 in bookworm, top pot, airport bars, not working until 1PM, Jubelale, SCOOOOOOT!!!!, Space Mountain, Nightman, torta de lenguna , nutella milkshakes.